Saturday, 3 May 2008

ABOUT TRUE FRIENDSHIP

You are here: God >> True Friendship

True Friendship - Recognition
How can we find true friendship in this often phony, temporary world? Friendship involves recognition or familiarity with another's personality. Friends often share likes and dislikes, interests, pursuits, and passion.

How can we recognize potential friendship? Signs include a mutual desire for companionship and perhaps a common bond of some kind. Beyond that, genuine friendship involves a shared sense of caring and concern, a desire to see one another grow and develop, and a hope for each other to succeed in all aspects of life. True friendship involves action: doing something for someone else while expecting nothing in return; sharing thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment or negative criticism.

True Friendship - Relationship, Trust, Accountability
True friendship involves relationship. Those mutual attributes we mentioned above become the foundation in which recognition transpires into relationship. Many people say, "Oh, he's a good friend of mine," yet they never take time to spend time with that "good friend." Friendship takes time: time to get to know each other, time to build shared memories, time to invest in each other's growth.

Trust is essential to true friendship. We all need someone with whom we can share our lives, thoughts, feelings, and frustrations. We need to be able to share our deepest secrets with someone, without worrying that those secrets will end up on the Internet the next day! Failing to be trustworthy with those intimate secrets can destroy a friendship in a hurry. Faithfulness and loyalty are key to true friendship. Without them, we often feel betrayed, left out, and lonely. In true friendship, there is no backbiting, no negative thoughts, no turning away.

True friendship requires certain accountability factors. Real friends encourage one another and forgive one another where there has been an offense. Genuine friendship supports during times of struggle. Friends are dependable. In true friendship, unconditional love develops. We love our friends no matter what and we always want the best for our friends.

True Friendship - Examples of Real Friendship
True friendship stories are found throughout the Bible. In Genesis 18:17-33, we read about God sharing His intentions with Abraham. Abraham responds by telling God his thoughts and feelings about the situation. God and Abraham are able to do this because they trust and respect each other.

First Samuel 20 focuses on the friendship of David and Jonathan. These two men truly cared for each other and had great trust and confidence in one another. David was running for his life from Jonathan's father, Saul. Jonathan recognized that David was innocent. Because of the true friendship they shared, David survived Saul's assassination attempts and went on to become one of Israel's greatest kings.

Real and true friendship involves freedom of choice, accountability, truth, and forgiveness. Peter and Jesus give us this example: Peter, afraid for his life after Jesus is led away from the Garden of Gethsemane, denies knowing Jesus (John 18). As He is led away by His accusers, Jesus casts a look toward Peter that says, "I knew you would deny Me, and I forgive you" (John 21).

Real friendship looks at the heart, not just the "packaging." Genuine friendship loves for love's sake, not just for what it can get in return. True friendship is both challenging and exciting. It risks, it overlooks faults, and it loves unconditionally, but it also involves being truthful, even though it may hurt. Genuine friendship, also called "agape" love, comes from the Lord. The Lord Jesus calls us His friends and He laid down His life for us (John 15).

Relationships in real life involve different levels of friendships, and that's okay. But humans are designed by God for lasting relationships. Often our isolationist society offers only vague, empty relationships. God wants us to have friends here on earth. Most of all, He wants us to be friends with Him!

God's Word tells us that a friend sticks closer than a brother, and that in order for one to be a friend, one must show themselves friendly (Proverbs 18:24). The question is: what type of friend do you desire to be?

Proverbs 18:19 in the New Living Translation says: "It's harder to make amends with an offended friend than to capture a fortified city. Arguments separate friends like a gate locked with iron bars." When we've offended a true friend - whether by breaking a trust or by speaking the truth with love - we risk losing that friendship. We must be careful not to break the trust. But when not speaking the truth will cause greater hurt in our friend's life, we must be willing to sacrifice our needs for those of our friend. That is true friendship.

If we sometimes offend a friend without meaning to, God's Word offers a solution. It's called forgiveness. There is no greater example than the love of God for us. It so great that He gave His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, in order that our friendship with God might be restored. He did that in spite of the fact that we have offended Him deeply. We have disobeyed His commands, turned our backs on Him, and followed our own path. So the question remains: What type of friend do you want to be? True Christian friendship forgives.

Do you need a friend? God wants to be your true friend. Are you longing for companionship? God is always with you (Hebrews 13:5). Who do you know who needs a true friend today? God wants you to befriend others. He calls us to be His hands and feet in a world starving for true friendship.

You are here: God >> Christian Fellowship

Christian Fellowship - Christian Companionship
Christian fellowship occurs when two or more Christians are in one another's company. The dictionary defines fellowship as "friendly association with others; companionship." Christian fellowship, then, involves friendly association with other Christians. It means you choose Christians to be your companions.

Christian Fellowship - What Does it Mean for Me?
Christian fellowship begins through a process of adoption. Are you a Christian today? If you are, you have been adopted by God. You may have heard it said that we are all God's children, but the truth is, we don't become God's children until we are adopted, through faith in Christ.

He predestined us to be adopted as his sons through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will. (Ephesians 1:5)
If we were all God's children by virtue of being His creation, then adoption wouldn't be necessary. Ask any parents of adopted children and they'll tell you the process is long, hard and painful! Why would God choose adoption if we were already His children? Because God longs to have you as His child, He sacrificed Himself, in the person of Jesus Christ, on the cross in order to purchase your salvation.

So if you've received Christ as your personal Savior and Lord, congratulations! You are now a member of God's family.

Christian Fellowship - Like-minded Communion
After adoption, Christian fellowship grows naturally. Because it's natural for us to want to be around people like ourselves, in time you'll find yourself desiring the companionship of people who think like you do. As a Christian, depending on where you live on this planet, your beliefs may now be in stark contrast to the society around you. That desire for fellowship with "like-thinkers" is God-given.

If you ignore it, or think that by hanging around with "Christians" your non-believing friends will think you're not "cool," you deny yourself the companionship of your new family members, stunt your Christian growth - and worse, you open yourself to risk.

One phenomena common to all believers is the recognition that without Christ, our spiritual understanding was dark. Some even say, "It's as if I stumbled in the darkness, and then God threw on the light switch." Unbelievers are still living in spiritual darkness. While God desires that we live among them and share what we have learned with them, we are called to be separate in our choice of close companions, and for a very good reason! Paul tells us why:

Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? And what fellowship can light have with darkness? (2 Corinthians 6:14 NIV)
If you seek out fellowship with other believers, you will find yourself surrounded by new friends who'll think you're very "cool" - because God thinks so, too! And through that new friendship, you'll discover that the light only gets brighter.

Christian Fellowship - Where Do I Find It?
Christian fellowship is critical! Being in the company of people who think like you do is very important to your growth and survival as a Christian. If you live in a church-wealthy community, you are likely to find that companionship. Most churches offer some kind of small group experience that you can become a part of. If you can't find satisfying fellowship at your church, it's possible God wants to move you somewhere else. Consider that option and pray! God will direct your heart.

But what if you don't have great churches around you? Where then do you go to find Christian fellowship?

God's Forgiveness - What's Required?
The Bible gives us the costly requirement for God's forgiveness: "Without the shedding of Blood, there is no forgiveness" (Hebrews 9:22). In the Old Testament, the continual sacrifices of unblemished lambs were required to satisfy God's wrath and judgment. However, Jesus Christ, the Son of God, died on a Roman cross and became the ultimate, once-and-for-all sacrifice for our sins. Jesus purchased God's forgiveness on our behalf when he became the Lamb of God and died on the cross for you and me.

"For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God" (1 Peter 3:18). "In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God's grace" (Ephesians 1:7).

God's Forgiveness - He Paid the Price Himself
God hates sin, but He loves the sinner. The price for God's forgiveness is high, but He paid the price Himself. By Christ's loving act of grace, believers are eternally freed from the penalty and guilt of sin. Once we're covered by the Blood of Christ, God doesn't keep a record of our sins. Our forgiveness is total and complete.

"Blessed is he whose transgressions are forgiven, who sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord doesn't count against him and in whose spirit is no deceit" (Psalm 32:1-2).

"I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more" (Isaiah 43:25).

"It is possible for the Lord to look at us without seeing our sins because when he forgave us, he removed our sins as far as the east is from the west" (Psalm 103:12).

God's Forgiveness - Once and for All!
A believer receives God's forgiveness when he repents of sin and places his faith in Jesus Christ for salvation -- all of his sins are forgiven forever. That includes past, present and future, big or small. Jesus died to pay the penalty for all of our sins, and once they are forgiven, they are all forgiven (Colossians 1:14; Acts 10:43). However, when we stumble, we are called to confess our sins - "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness" (1 John 1:9). Yes, Christians do sin (1 John 1:8) - but the Christian life is not to be identified by a life of sin. Believers are a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). We have the Holy Spirit in us producing good fruit (Galatians 5:22-23). A Christian life should be a changed life. A person who claims to be a believer yet continually lives a life that says otherwise should question the genuineness of his faith. Christians are forgiven no matter how many times they sin, but at the same time, Christians should live a progressively more holy life as they grow closer to Christ.

Christians continue to sin after they are saved - we will not be free from sin until we die or Jesus comes back. However, becoming a Christian results in a changed life (2 Corinthians 5:17). A person will go from producing the acts of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21) to producing the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). This change does not happen instantly, but it does happen over time. Paul tells us, "And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God" (1